Monday, 23 December 2013

How do you know?

You're doing the right thing, as a parent?

You don't. It's all guess work & the hardest most stressful 'job' I have ever had. I'm 99% sure I don't want more children for a whole load of reasons. 

But then there comes a moment where I'm so unbelievably proud of my gorgeous girls that I know I can say I'm doing something right somewhere:

Right here, right now... (We have a breathing monitor that we have full tested and she will only sleep like this...)

Friday, after nearly 2 full weeks at crèche when things started 'coming together'...

I couldn't ask for IP to be any better - she's just the right amount, she loves being a big sister but does have jealous moments etc so I have no concerns she's 'too' perfect...
And thankfully zc laughs & smiles the second ip entertains her... 

This week/end we've implemented a routine which has helped massively.

Monday, 16 December 2013


A new nickname! So since Munchkin has been born, I haven't really called her Munchkin... When I was pregnant with IP I never had a nickname for her, despite wanting one. Then she arrived prematurely and it just happened we ended up calling her Ickle Pickle. Then I was pregnant with Munchkin and came up with said nickname. But now she's arrived I've called her various names similar to her own name and more recently have taken to calling her 'Z Chops' (IP says 'chop chop' a lot as well). I try not to use our real names on here so I can't explain full how this came about but for me, certainly, it's stuck. And because it's stuck I thought I'd start using it on here. So from now on she won't be 'the baby' or Munchkin, she's Z Chops. Or ZC for short...

Last week, her first tummy time at home! (the play mat was cleaned)

Friday, 13 December 2013


9/30. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
Ummm… On holiday in Kenya... Monkeys stealing a joke present bought for my (then) boyfriend, ripping 'it' open all over the grass in front of other guests…

Tuesday, 10 December 2013


8/30. What are 5 passions you have?
Prem babies, cloth nappies, minimalism, the Police

Thursday, 28 November 2013

Phew... I hope?!

This isn't going to be long but just in case you don't follow the page on facebook I thought I'd better do a speedy update...

So it seems 'daughter number 2' isn't going to be any simpler or easier than 'daughter no 1'. I have A LOT of catching up and updating to do on here, I have been making notes as I think of things, so I hopefully won't forget anything. But here's a brief explanation:

'D#2' was 7 weeks old last Sunday... 

We spent a week in hospital being verbally abused by a pediatrician and struggling with her weight loss and me breastfeeding...
I managed to get us discharged by spending a night breastfeeding her every 2 hours, followed by 30 minutes double expressing breast milk and whilst I did that a nurse syringe fed her... She gained 50g overnight and they finallyyyy let us go on the Saturday (that was the Thursday night, the Friday night I had to do it myself! :/)
I then tried to continue breastfeeding for the next 2 weeks but she just wasn't gaining weight/ was losing weight at the weekend so I ended up supplementing with formula and 'combination feeding'...
So anyone who tells me breastfeeding a small baby is easy and don't bother clock watching/ worrying about positions/ worrying about if they're feeding ALL the time, please don't. I feel very strongly that how an individual feeds their baby is THEIR choice and there's a huge number of reasons often for someone making those choices!

Sooo that takes us up to about week 3: 
I think that was when I was still trying to decide whether to really attempt to breast feed solely, so I still felt VERY hormonal and emotional. I was trying to express breast milk - using advice from this site which I have had recommended and was utterly brilliant for anyone who's wondering (

Thennn I think it was the end of that week, IP got a nasty cold, DP got a nasty cough and I can't actually pinpoint when 'D#2' got said cold but at some point she did...
The week after I was trying desperately just to keep on top of things...
I *think* it was around that point that I firstly spent the day in hospital with severe stomach cramps, so DP, IP & 'D#2' just had to wait all day which was horrendous. The hospital, however, were fantastic. I won't go into great detail about why I was ill and my experience but it's resolved now (& the pain was on par with giving birth, incidentally). I came home that night and my parents happened to be visiting that weekend so we are very thankful because they were able to really look after us - my Dad bulk cooked, my Mum bottle fed 'D#2' & they all kept sending me and DP to bed to rest and entertained IP...

The week after I think D#2 just wasn't happy and I gave up breast feeding and put her on Transit formula - to help with constipation. (just remembered I also caught the cold around this point! :/) She was screaming whenever she needed a bottle so we thought had bad colic... By Sunday night we came to the conclusion that the Transit formula hadn't helped, she was due to see the Pediatrician on the Tuesday so we went back to 'normal' formula... 

And my goodness I noticed the difference then! She was really high pitched painfully screaming... Now people say do not google, and I did speak to a friend but she recommended a particular page and my instinct on googling was right, despite as DP said, the symptoms are normal 'living' symptoms:
D#2 has silent reflux... 
Then in the day between diagnosing she had silent reflux and her pediatrician appointment, I started to wonder if it was actually a cow's milk protein allergy

So we've had probably a week or so of the high pitched awful screaming - it's definitely very early considering I've read of babies having it for months. At the moment she is sort of comfort eating but also in a lot of pain when she eats. And she'll sleep for 5 hours but only sat upright on one of 'us'. I am absolutely exhausted as listening to a screaming baby in pain is not nice, only sleeping if I'm lucky for up to 5 hours and all the other stuff of course (keeping a house going and dealing with a toddler + other stuff...) 

I took D#2 to her pediatrician who instantly dismissed any thoughts of cow's milk protein allergy but prescribed for silent reflux. Today I took her to another pediatrician who has listened. So we are now playing 'the waiting game'... 


7/30. What is your dream job, and why?
Police officer. Too many reasons to list!

Wednesday, 27 November 2013


6/30. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
My baby girl being in the SCBU.

Monday, 25 November 2013


5/30. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
My little girl & husband. My cat. Munchkin. The support of those closest to me.

Sunday, 24 November 2013

Breaking News...

How would you define 'sleeping through the night'? Well, I have recently discovered the medical definition is 5 hours (I couldn't find anything specific more than this link). A baby sleeping through 5 hours straight (so it could be 7pm to midnight, or midnight to 5am etc) is classed as 'sleeping through'. So I was excited when 'the baby' slept through 5 hours solid two nights running! 

I am curious to see if she continues. Last night she finally fell asleep at 2am (THANK YOU DP!) but IP woke at 6:30am so we sadly didn't get the full benefit :( However it was fantastic that she managed that 5 hours because I realised today that up until now she's not settled at all and is 7 weeks old now! So for me that's 7 long weeks of exhaustion, the first week I think I got about 5 hours sleep in total, 3 of those hours probably the first night when nurses insisted they look after her so I could sleep... The second week wasn't much better, aside from DP being home. 

The third week we were told to supplement with formula and whilst I'm incredibly sad to have given up breastfeeding, I was in hospital all day last Friday with stomach cramps so the thought of breast feeding wasn't nice (we just about got through the day but it wasn't pleasant) and the next thing I knew I hadn't breast fed her for a few days. I will cover the whole situation in later posts but right now this moment I'm ok with it (yes, just ok) and most importantly, I want my sleep back and this is one way to get it (no I am not leaving her to cry, sleep training or anything else & yes technically I'm sure certain people I 'know' would say I've been selfish in not trying harder with the breast feeding, but other people have said 'happy mum = happy baby' and this mum was certainly not happy and neither was baby)! 

So we HOPE but we'll see, that this could be the start of something good! A beautiful family lol! ;P So I just wanted to share this very short post because I have been making notes when I've thought of things, it's just this time of year is always mega busy for me/ us in general so to have no sleep to survive on and a newborn to cope with... I may be writing Christmas posts in January at this rate, lol! ;)

^ this was taken a few weeks back!

Wednesday, 20 November 2013


4/30. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
1. Exams are not the be all and end all.
2. Don't stress about your looks. You have to grow into your body to be happy with it.
3. Live in the moment. Life goes by WAY too fast. Enjoy all those moments in high school with your friends, as pretty soon you won’t see them as often and the ones who annoy you you probably won’t see again.
4. Appreciate everything you have. Though it might seem like your life is "rough," you've got it good.
5. It's okay to not get straight A’s. But it’s better to be able to say you put your all into it.
6. Be nicer to your family as those that are friends now may not be in the future.
7. Appreciate your hobbies as they may not always be there.
8. Pay attention in maths class! You’ll be so grateful for it later.
9. Spend more time with family members (especially your grandparents, cousins, etc.) One day you'll wake up and realize they won't always be there...

10. Don’t worry so much about boys. There’s a whole world of them waiting for you after school.

Sunday, 17 November 2013

Sundays photo...

I am writing this on my mobile, (during a 10 minute lay down) & can't format this any better at the moment (hence it is not silent) but this was taken about midnight last night...


Wednesday, 13 November 2013


3/30. Describe your relationship with your parents.
Ummmm. I'm pretty sure my dad reads my blog so... 

Update: 19/11/2013 My parents happened to be visiting the weekend just gone & were very helpful. My dad had prebulk cooked lots of meals for us to have in the freezer, they'd been to a UK shop to buy various things that are hard to buy here and then whilst they were here they sent me to bed to rest & entertained etc both kids... So although I would describe my relationship as fraught, because we're so similar, they're definitely there when I need them...

Monday, 11 November 2013


2/30. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
1 Not be able to breastfeed as long as I would like – I managed to express for IP for 7 days but I’ve never actually breastfed.
2 My children become scared of spiders because I am but there is nothing to be scared of.
3 Munchkin will arrive too early because IP arrived early.

Monday, 4 November 2013


1/30. List 20 random facts about yourself.
1. I started at my local Brownie unit when I was 7 years old and have been involved in Guiding, particularly to make new friends in a new area… IP came to Rainbows with me until recently.
2. IP is named after ‘Royal Bra’ as my husband’s ex colleague said. Ironic as it’s a bra brand I wear and I have always wanted to call my daughter Catherine growing up but never thought it would happen! Nothing to do with the Duchess of Cambridge! ;)
3. When I was younger we lived in the middle of nowhere and I was a massive bookworm as a result. We had one trip to the library a week and that was about it. These days I’ve struggled to find time to read. Hopefully that’ll change soon!
4. I have been with my husband for 10 years, this last January but we only got married in July 2010.
5. I was born on 18/11/83 at 8:08am. I guess 8 is a good number for me!?
6. I am trying to cut down my tv addiction…
7. Je suis fille unique – I am an only child. So it’s a bit mental for me that my husband is the oldest of 4 children!
8. Growing up I desperately wanted to act as a copper in ‘The Bill’. Then they axed The Bill and I decided being a Police Officer was good. Then I made it to PCSO but then we moved to Luxembourg so that dream will have to wait. 
9. One of the only things I can honestly say I know I am better than my husband at is swimming. I’m competitive! ;) I loved swimming and did a few ‘badges’. So when my daughter was born I was determined she’d start swimming lessons as soon as possible. I’ve interviewed and considered working for the same company as a swimming instructor.
10. I don’t drink enough water and really need to improve at it. I never have drunk enough water…
11. I am trying to be minimalist but I have a feeling cute baby clothes will be hard, as we have a lot of baby girl clothing!
12. I wanted to go double barrelled in surname when I got married. But then I decided to go with my husband’s surname as it cost more and was harder to go double barrelled. I used my maiden name at work (for security). I used an alias on facebook. And then we moved to Luxembourg and here they all use maiden names. So I like it!
13. I must be one of the few people who genuinely really just isn’t that fussed with music. I listened to it when I was at school but now I just don’t think about it…
14. I was raised to try a bit of everything food wise. (I wrote these a while ago)
15. We don’t know what gender Munchkin is but we have plenty of girl’s names… And are struggling with boys! ;/
16. I am trying to wean myself off certain media ;)
17. I have never understood the attraction or addiction of pinterest. I’m kinda hoping to keep it that way as there was a time I felt that way about facebook…
18. I cannot cook. I literally only started cooking regularly because I was at home when our daughter turned 6 months. Now I do Monday – Thursday, DP does Friday – Sunday because he actually enjoys cooking.
19. When I say I can’t cook: I have burnt pasta!

20. I wish I had a darker, Mediterranean look. I’ve got brown hair and eyes but not the med look, sadly :/

Monday, 28 October 2013


I said a while back that when Munchkin was born I'd saved some things to post that were a bit different to what I normally post. I think now is a good time to start posting them... 

So when I decided to write my own blog, I borrowed some ideas from my friend, Devon...

Firstly, 30 Things:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.


Friday, 18 October 2013

Food Friday

Well I am writing this knowing it won't be posted for several weeks but I felt a need to today... I am writing this on 3rd October and today IP and I made Jamie Oliver's 'baked camembert pasta' & vegan black bean brownies...

We had been struggling to get IP to eat much recently and having made this dish tonight and waiting impatiently for DP to return home from work, I decided to dish a bit up a bit earlier and she wolfed it down! As per my brownie post, I had altered the recipe a tad, but everyone seemed to enjoy it which was the important thing!

I will post another day about a dilemna on this subject (whether IP should eat at a different time to us) but for now click here for the Jamie Oliver baked camembert pasta recipe - I have made it before but I'm not sure if IP was born and she certainly wasn't weaned if she was born. Anyway it's meant for 4-6 people and we ate it between us and then I felt very full up and sickly. Well tonight I could probably have eaten half of the recipe easily! :/

Oh and I said I changed bits: nothing major, I just hate spinach so put some frozen peas in and we didn't have 100g of parmesan so I just added what we did have. I will probably buy and add some more later...

I  have just checked and I sadly don't have any photo's of our attempts but here's some from google images to give you an idea of how yummy it looks:

Oh yes and I also overdid the olive oil a bit and used garlic puree which exploded a tad! But it still worked out nicely! :) My daughter may be a cheese fiend but at least she eats exciting and stronger cheese! ;)

Monday, 14 October 2013

Boy, what a week!

I'm sure most of you know but for those that don't, we introduced munchkin to our family last Sunday. 

And Boy do we know!

It turns out, 'boy' is not the operative word! Munchkin is a girl, arriving 2 weeks early by medical standards, on lux Father's Day.

I personally have had a hell of a week. All 3 of us - Ip, Dp & I - are physically & mentally exhausted. I will explain more later but I desperately wanted to breast feed as I didn't with ip... And it's been a bit crazy - here the rules are very different and what I thought would be fantastic, really wasn't. (Just to clarify, newborns & breast feeding are very hard work but considering issues with ip at birth, there isn't anything else...)

So we're home now. I am attempting to ensure ip gets some form of routine back as she has a cough so isn't sleeping through amongst other things. 

And I will update properly on here when I'm less exhausted - I don't know right now when that will be but I certainly can't continue for much longer like this, so... I do have some more random posts that I'd saved and whilst I was thinking they're random, right now they are probably how I sound! ;)

So what I hope to update you on: 
Today I hope to encapsulate my placenta. Yep I know, I'm mental! 
Why fast labours are not cool. I had no pain relief this time at all. I find them stressful. A quote recently: 'I hate you just a little bit right now for 'there's no time for paracetamol is there?!'' & Dp 'you're doing really well' me' well it's tough if I'm not isn't it!'... 
My current major challenges with breast feeding & the Luxembourg healthcare system!?
What I wish I'd done differently. A friend did say she didn't have everything ready but as a control freak, despite all my prep, I still could have done more. 

But right now, I need to attend to my family, get ip back into a routine & try to catch up on some sleep... Somewhere. Not sure where with a newborn only sleeping a few hours at a time & we never know when, but still... Oh & I need to do some thinking & make some decisions... For another post I think!

Another sort of silent Sunday... Belated.

Friday, 11 October 2013

Making elephants... Food Friday?

Ok, it's Friday so I should be writing about Food, right? Well, I kinda am and I'm kinda not... I'm writing about 'salt dough' which consists of flour, water and salt. Oh and a bit of oil... So they're technically food items, yes?! ;)

Recently there has been a Parade of elephants throughout Luxembourg & Trier and my sister in law loves elephants. So I suggested to DP, as IP had loved spotting the elephants (note to self: must post some pictures later of IP with said elephants!) and there was an article in the BLC newsletter about making salt dough elephants to hang on the wall, that maybe IP and I could make elephants for IP's aunty's birthday? 

It turned out that IP loved this activity! What she is still talking about is the 'cutting'! Anyway, we did this probably about a month ago but I had to wait for us to post the elephants and for her birthday (JUST in case, I doubt she reads this blog but I would have been upset if I'd assumed and it had spoilt the surprise)...

Rolled out salt dough & I didn't have an elephant cutter to hand so I google image searched, printed & cut this picture out:

'Cutting Mamma!?' - IP LOVED using her toddler knife to cut random pieces! I did not let her use the sharp knife in the bottom right! ;)

That weekend I roped DP into helping me help her to paint them! :)

For the record, I am a real mum. I am not superwoman or supermum. I tend to do these activities a bit 'on the spur of the moment' and take photo's with my iphone because I forget to take photo's with a decent camera... I forget to ensure IP is dressed (she's wearing her pj's in these photo's), hair brushed etc and I forget to clear all the other rubbish out the photo. I then have several pojects on the go and clearing it all up makes a mess. But I feel it's better to take photo's and show you, with mess in the background, than not and you miss out. Feel free to tell me you disagree! ;)

Monday, 7 October 2013

Bonne Luxembourg Fete, Papa!

Well IP slept in 'til about 8:45am so DP happened to miss the start of the Grand Prix! ;) 
Happy Luxembourg Father's Day DP! 
6th October 2013

Un bonbon, c'est bon
Deux bonbon, c'est bon
Trois bonbon, c'est bien
Mais un gros calin
Tout contre ton coeur
C'est encore meilleur
Bonne Fete, Papa!

Google translate:

A sweet, it's good
Two candy is good
Three candy is good
But a big hug
Against all your heart
It's even better
Bonne Fete, Papa!

P.S. Update: Later on, I went into a very fast labour with Munchkin. So DP decided it was the best Father's Day he could have had...

Sunday, 6 October 2013

Sort of silent Sunday ;)

No, she is not having a tantrum, I was trying to get her to pose for a photo! :) (all will be revealed)

Saturday, 5 October 2013

Project 333 - a new phase for IP

I've written about starting Project 333 and even more recently about how a new 'phase' occurs on the 1st October. Well when I first decided to implement Project 333 I wasn't sure I could manage it, being pregnant, having a toddler, the list of excuses could continue. Then I decided in June that I was just making excuses and went for it. And not only that, I went for it on my daughter's wardrobe as well!

So far things have worked out really well. I have to admit, I didn't stick rigidly to it for 3 reasons:

1. For me, being pregnant, in a new country, I felt it was too much. I knew at the start I almost certainly wouldn't wear 3 maternity dresses I owned. But I also knew that I might, as I had a wedding and other events. I didn't wear said dresses but as they're maternity I kept them in the wardrobe just in case. And it's probably a wider issue than that: we've lived here for a year now but I hadn't implemented the Project that entire time so it will probably take another year before I know roughly what I'm doing with things - like when the colder seasons start. But I have REALLY appreciated having guidelines and felt it gave me permission to take certain things out of my wardrobe.

2. I didn't reread the 'rules' so just forgot about coats. etc. But I did go through our shoes and coats afterwards and was just sensible.

3. IP is slightly 'obsessive' over her shoes so would notice in an instant if any were missing. I wasn't about to start having a fight with her over that! Toddler, Europe size 21 shoes don't exactly take up a lot of room, if she wants to keep them then that was fine by me and DP...

 And I admit that I haven't implemented things perfectly this time round, either. But, and I hope Courtney would agree, I feel that having the guidelines there are fantastic right now, I have every intention of restricting my clothing more after Munchkin is born and probably IP's...

Also we've been given lots of clothing from a friend for IP and then we'd bought a few items so given that we hadn't actually had to spend a lot, I think we've only gone to maybe 36 items, for a toddler that grows fast, with so much change occurring and in a country I didn't expect to suddenly get cold on 1st September, I figure 3 extra items isn't too bad! ;)

Sooooo, you are probably more interested in what our wardrobes look like, right? Well this is focusing on IP's wardrobe just because mine's a bit crazy right now!

At the end...

What I took out...

 Where it went... ;)

*When I mentioned on facebook in a group that all my daughter's current clothes fit in 1 drawer pretty much of a chest of drawers and that my baby's would too, other members were shocked and didn't understand how I do it. One lady asked how IP doesn't grow out of her clothes and aren't I getting rid of a lot of clothes that she needs? So whilst I have probably already said this, just to explain more whilst we don't know whether Munchkin is a boy or a girl...

As luck would have it, IP is very small and fits into clothes for 1 year olds, despite being 2.5 yo! So I dug out last years coats and snow suits and they fit her for now. We do need to buy her a new coat but when we went to buy it, she had a total hissy fit and refused to try any of them on and as we were likely to be spending a lot of money on a coat that would probably be too big initially, we decided to wait... 

Also, because I don't know what gender/sex Munchkin is (though we do have a fairly good idea) I have kept most of IP's old clothes. So for simplicity, at the moment all her clothes just go in this 1 sack. If Munchkin is a boy then when he's born one of my first jobs is to go through this sack of clothing and take out all the girly clothes. I have already started but it's become a bit of a mish mash now. Then I'll divide the remaining clothes up into sizes. Under the bed at the moment is their 'momento' suitcase & cloth nappies for when Munchkin's big enough. Oh and a box of shoes, tights, etc. So we'll vaccuum pack this bag and probably sort a few others and they'll stay under the bed. 

Wardrobe space. Our friend is having a Halloween party so the 2 hangers on the left are outfits for that and will be packed away/ donated afterwards...

I think this was another photo...

 Clothes from the washing line! ;)

  • 2 jeans - I think she may even have more now because our friend I think gave us some and we may have bought her some...
  • 3 trousers
  • 3-4 long sleeve tops (I may get rid of one of these, hence the 3-4)
  • 3 short sleeve tops
  • 4 cardi/jumpers
  • 7 dresses
  • 3 shirts
  • 2 snowsuits - 1 is fleece, 1 is waterproof material but they're from last year and DP insists they're good to keep, so...
  • 2 coats - 1 is definitely too small but she has refused to try new coats on as yet so we're going with it for now (a post on my minimalist daughter is coming up, lol!)
  • And as mentioned before, I think right now she has 2 pairs of welly boots but only 1 will definitely continue to fit,
  • 4 pairs of shoes but again, we'll see how we do on them fitting... And 2 of them were 'hand me down's' from her friend... 
Oh and 1 pair of the shoes, ever since I met DP 10 years ago, he has been talking about getting his future offspring a pair of mini trainers (I am not joking, literally our 3rd 'date' we ended up looking in a sports shop & he was the one to say first 'oh isn't that mini pair of trainers cool? When I have kids I'll get them those.' I think I was the one who actually said 'but we're not having kids yet, eh?' to reassure us both!). Then he saw a pair of black Puma trainers in the local supermarket & the week after needed a pair of black shoes/trainers for himself and they had matching. So he ummed and ahhed and I told him to buy them. It's not minimalism & I'm sure I'd be told off by some people but he doesn't buy himself stuff very often, is still feeling guilty a week later so I told him and feel that it's acceptable. And IP LOVES them! ;) 

= 36 items of clothing + hair 'bobbles' & clips!
For those of you that are wondering! So yes, we're currently 3 items over & probably more now but I will worry about it more when Munchkin is born... I think for a 2 year old girl, this isn't bad!

I am also considering making a tick box list for future use. I'd be interested to know what others think and if they'd find it useful? I'm not entirely sure how it would look or work but I have had to take a camera, pen and paper with me each time and now have the guidelines printed out so I was thinking if I had 1 sheet with it all on and space for me to write, that might make life easier?